but only i can say that

currently feel weak; mentally physically & spiritually -

so it came to mind.

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.”

dont judge her.

ayee.

sometimes i feel like its over ; like crawling under you would be best

like you would hold me forever; and never let me go

embrace me from my thighs to my waist to craddling me like a baby while i lay awake unspoken against you-the attraction of having you is at its best when i see what i dont have-

you wanna know what/who you is?

a guy who you hate to love because he mentally beats you

an addiction you can't keep away ; because you swear itll forever define you

or maybes its a friend that you hide behind to make you feel better

it brings defintion to your life

why do we do it

face it-the truth lies in oneselves

they say you cant be with something unless you've learned how to 1st be alone

but what if all this time you've been waisting your life loving and putting emphasis on something that doesnt love you back

not facing the mirrors; because it hurt you to love the reflection of the pain withered young girls face

breaking down everyone elses barrier to make them smile

but to place you on a higher ground would make you selfish and stupid

because ...life.... just ...ain't.. cut ..out ..for... you

you the lies the decietful cheater backstabbing 2faced inconsiderate no standards son of a bitch (brutal beatings just get harder as i stay around what i call negative everyday; but i choose to stay because i cant face the truth-ME)

...{walks to the the -surface capable of reflecting sufficient undiffused light to form an image of an object placed in front of it)

looks down at her hands ;tears fall; and like that (snap fingers) it done its over its been washed away

(so you think)

for me to hug myself would be stupid but it would help but for me to hug you it would make sense? (how?)they say easiest way to understand life ; is to understand your position in it - & i wonder if ill ever walk knowing where am going?

love?

love is- a word with four meanings?.. how about a fast approach towards happiness{my love is "love" so i think..sadness is what seems to pour out of it but its there...so so what! dont judge me!}love is walking away & now love is fighting you -you've even allowed love to beat you-love?..but am happy when you are here ...love?..so dont leave; in quick desperation i speak up and say "i loveyou";i erase loves mistakes and start anew thinking each day that my settling for this love will always keep me happy-L.O.V.E?

deadly

so ive wondered for a very long time wether i want this for me...

fustrations

crazy how i want so much in life but i don't really have the strive to go and get it

..lazy butt?..yeah i am...
i just see how easy it is for everyone else so why cant it be easy for me..i ask myself that all the time..i think am the sweetest thing you'll ever know just a lil crazy but am working on it..everyone has issues right..but its just fustrating how everything i want i seem to see in others..hold up! dont call it jealousy nor envy call it more of a
...why? just a question..

i think it comes a time in everyones life when your life why her or him or that..lol

(watching 106..trey better stop flirting w/ rocsi i dont like it)
but anywho just posting whats on my mind..

born again

whats the meaning of born again?...
does it mean to rise again from the fallen
does it mean taking a step into clarity
my reality is him...
its like what i decided to forget is pushing me towards remembering
in all this craziness called "el mundo"..
wanna run back? wanna be born again?..
but then again idk what that means..
am going back into time ...into unhappiness or has this struggle finally made me see maybe it was all just me all this time..finally running away like i always do from the problems in that certain time...maybe being born is being brought into a new life..into a new persona
into a new happiness into a new positivity that no one or nothing can muster to knock down through words or through actions..maybe the change that i so long to make doesn't lie in the current makeup of uncertainty..or the attachment of things that feel as if my needing to succeed can only be done through my closeness to them..or it.

Life has a way of bringing a rocky road...you cant always avoid it..but once you've past through it..being Born again is always a must